


The Water's Too Shallow

by AlexNow



Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe, Coma, Hospital, M/M, Science Fiction & Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexNow/pseuds/AlexNow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small"></span>
  <br/>
  <i>'There is a state between unconsciousness and actually still being awake. Walking, talking, and eating. It's just not in the real world.'</i>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">Ryan is stubborn, friendless and suffers from house problems every night. Being also blunt and too direct, now all he has left is Spencer Smith, his best friend. But after losing his only real friend in life he finds himself in severe pain and wakes up in a world unheard of.</span>
  <br/>
  <span class="small">There is no way out. That is, until you are unplugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-ON HIATUS-</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Water's Too Shallow

**Author's Note:**

> The summary is not very calling but you might as well risk it and try reading this.  
> Anyway, This has been rewritten to a less shitty description of how the story proceeds. So, technically, this is just barely being remade and I am working on further chapters later on. Very soon/ I am so sorry for making you wait so long. I hope you enjoy it.  
> Please comment or at least leave a kudo to give me strength and inspiration. (:  
> -Alex

"It's too shallow." Ryan complains, eyeing the water below him with a great distaste. Spencer, beside him, rolls his eyes exaggeratedly in his normal bitchy matter.

"For Christ's sake, Ryan. Just get in the fucking water and don't worry about getting sunburned." Spencer snaps, his eyes clearly showing annoyance.

"Well  _maybe_  I wouldn't be worrying if it weren't for last time when  _someone_  thought it'd be an awfully good idea to dive in the fucking pool." Ryan shoots back. Spencer scoffs.

"When I'm sorry for trying to do something  _fun_  for once with someone who's as lame as Paula Deen." He responds, and though he is used to Ryan being so dramatic he can’t help but feel aggravation each time this happens.

"I am  _not_  lame,” He retorts with a quite feminine huff, “At least _I'm_ not the one who sits on his ass all day on the stupid couch playing _Slender_  and-" The sound of a strident splash is heard just as Ryan is cut off and soon the neighbors are startled with the noise of what sounds like shrieking in a tone of voice of Ryan Ross.

"What the  _fuck_ , Spencer!" Ryan cries, his arms hovered over his head to not get any wetter (which is physically impossible, but Ryan is cynic that way), "I haven't even taken off my motherfucking shorts off and now you stupid asshole made me get fucking _soaked_! Now I have to wait out to get dry again, you _idiot_!"

But Spencer isn't listening, instead he's on the floor laughing as if there were no tomorrow. The constant cussing of Ryan makes it worse and makes him gasp for air desperately between laughs. As Ryan notices this he jumps out, grumbling and muttering under his breath.

"I don't even know why I'm friends with you." He sighs. Spencer suddenly turns solemn.

"Because you have no one else." He deadpans. Ryan flashes him his middle finger as he struts back into the house. His clothes sticks uncomfortably to his skin, and considering he is wearing white you could see straight through. He shivers and keeps mumbling incoherent things as his teeth chatter, and this sends Spencer into a complete other route of sheer laughter.

 

 

The way Ryan sees it, it honestly should not be this eerie. There really is nothing about this that any other person would find strange, but it's Ryan we’re talking about. And Ryan is not any other person.

Hobo stands in the doorway of his room, her head cocked to one side, waiting for Ryan to let her come in.

Ryan stares back, challenging the small beagle puppy into making the first move. Hobo, it seemed, taunts him as well, and it annoys him how much confidence she seems to have. Only _he_ can have less self-confidence than a  _puppy._

She seems to understand. She seems to listen and sometimes even nods for Ryan to continue when he's in one of his infinite rants. She never complains and it gives him a sense of reassurance, though also lack of common sense. Talking to a pet dog does not guarantee sanity.

Ryan remembers when he came running to his room a couple of years ago, crying for the first time in years. He was thirteen at the time and it was the first time George had ever arrived to the house drunk. After a couple slurred words, George had beaten him.

Ryan was curled up on his bed, red drops of blood staining his covers and forming a small pool which sunk into the futon. He was sobbing over his new bruises when he heard Hobo walk in. She didn't hesitate to calmly go on top of his bed and nuzzle her head into his stomach. He held her tight all night. She didn't seem to mind.

It is one of the reasons Ryan doesn't have friends. He used to be one of the most admired teenagers in school and had everyone at his feet, kissing his ass also; pretty much begging for his friendship. At that time only Spencer was the person who could say no to him. It was only Spencer who could remind him that he doesn’t own the school, and even less the town; Spencer who is his true friend.

Considering all the girls wanted to be near him (getting a smile from his part made them beyond happy) because of his 'looks' (Ryan doesn't see anything special over his lanky form and weird sense of fashion), he didn't have anyone; also taking in notice the jocks that were his friends, but only because one of the laws of being popular was having well-liked friends. Ryan controlled the school.

Funny thing is, he didn't feel the power.

So after his first beating he relinquished it all. He isolated himself from everyone, by ignoring them in class. At lunch he'd grab his tray and sat unaccompanied on another table, moving idly his food around the plate. And well, he isn't lying when he says he'd act pretty _emo_ , following terms he does not exactly acknowledge. Now, though, he can’t deny it, judging by the way when he'd enter the high school with a black hoodie covering his face and his hands stuffed in its pockets.

Then everyone got the hint that he was no longer worth their time and Ryan's skinny jeans went from 'fashionable and hot' to 'gay'. It's ironic how Ryan's bullies are the same people who were Ryan's friends. Yet, he shouldn’t have expected at that time for them to continue trying to be his friend. It’s just how high school works. Once your followers decide you have passed from trending, they turn to find their next idol, and so on. Fame never is only accepting the good, but tolerating the bad. Sorrowfully, Ryan did not notice this before time when he should have.

It shouldn’t be surprising once revealed who stood by him the whole time he was passing through failure and blame, who held Ryan when he broke down crying the middle of an argument and the strong person who bandaged Ryan's new scars on his wrist with just a sigh, no questions asked.

Even though Ryan will never admit it out aloud, he rather acknowledge wordlessly that he thanks and trusts Spencer more than he's ever trusted anyone.

More than he trusts his father, more than he trusts himself. This is the only reason he hasn't left.

 

 

"So the point is,” Spencer says, his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration while having a mental argument with himself, and he pauses his expression to roll his eyes in an exaggerated matter, “My mom just  _can't_  seem to grasp the meaning of _college_. I mean, I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life. I think that’s obvious enough. I  _refuse_  to stay here for another, like, four years."

Ryan nodded absently, staring out the window and gazing at the sun with his lips parted and looking like an unreserved moron. "Yeah. Cool." He responds.

Spencer seems to sense his lack of awareness so he turns to face his friend, who is in the same position and doesn’t shift. He sighs, says, "Ryan, if you keep staring at the sun like that you'll go blind."

Ryan keeps staring at it, his lips still parted before he mutters a curt response in a flat tone, "Yeah. Sure. And if I eat watermelon seeds a huge watermelon with grow in my belly."

Spencer rolls his eyes, but is glad to have his best friend back in this world and away from the nightmares he lives in reality every day, knowing that whenever Ryan spaces out he has a tendency to retain information from these and somehow always find a way to blame himself.

"Don't forget that if you touch a girl you'll get cooties." Spencer replies, jaded.

Ryan laughs lightly and closes his eyes to shake his head, opening them again to stare at the sun. His lips are still softly curled upward into something which could almost be considered a smile

"I’d recommend that you tell that to your girlfriend. I'm sure that her lips have been in places innocent girls’ lips shouldn't be at."

Spencer grabs a pillow from the couch and hits him on the head, though Ryan is sure he manages to catch a glance at Spencer’s cheeks colored a fading pink. It hits Ryan straight to his head, and he lets it loll painfully as he tries to ease any pain which he considering coming. This doesn’t stop him from replying from the violence, of course.

"You didn't deny it."

"Fuck you." Spencer barks and throws him another pillow aimlessly.

 _"Language!"_ Mrs. Smith's voice from somewhere outside, probably the garden. She has possibly always had a development to be able to hear anything, though Ryan has grown used to it and no longer feels self-conscious knowing this.

"Sorry!" Spencer calls back, temporarily turning his head to look over his shoulder to the direction of the back window and he turns to glare at the older boy, "I hate you, Ryan Ross."

Ryan smiles and takes another bite of his oatmeal cookie. "No you don't," He says before nibbling his vast cookie again, "You can't live without me."

Ryan means this with a hint of sarcasm, but also notices how as to that, Spencer doesn't deny.

 

"Come  _on_ , Ryan. Just fucking go on with me and I promise you'll come down alive." Spencer pleads, pointing at the huge Ferris Wheel in the center of the carnival he is quite similar if compared to a small 5 year old asking for permission to buy a candy apple. Ryan furiously shakes his head.

"You can't  _promise_  that. What if at the last moment it breaks down and we all  _die_  there. You'd go to hell for not fulfilling your promise."

"You know as much as me that you don't believe in heaven or hell, Ryan. Jesus Christ," Spencer says, exasperatedly, "Just go on the fucking ride. Maybe you'll grow out of your pre-teen era."

"Fuck you."

"You already tried that. It didn't turn out well."

Ryan immediately turns a light pink but refused to knowledge it. Instead he glares at Spencer with all the hate he could muster (which is little, considering it's  _Spencer_ ) while trying to act tough and he angrily puts his arm down, cotton candy at his side.

"I was  _drunk_ , Spencer. You know it! It wasn't my fucking fault you though it was a good idea to get me horny while I was alcohol influenced!" He hisses, hates to be reminded of what he did to his only friend; especially when after days they refused to talk and wouldn’t meet each other’s eyes when they were forced to.  

Spencer unexpectedly turns defensive too and scowls before stating, "I was  _trying_  to make you make a fool out of yourself! I didn't think you'd  _kiss_  me!" His blue eyes burst with anger, since when he talks to his friend it seems to be the only occasions when he easily loses his temper. Ryan sighs deeply, he somehow makes it also sound mocking.

"Right. Of course you wouldn't think putting your hand on a drunken teenager's  _ass_  who hasn't fucked in years would cause a horny boner."

"Shut  _up_. At least  _I_  seem to have a bit more  _logic_ when it comes to any situations."

"Right. Says the guy who cheated on Haley, who he insisted he was  _in love_  with, with a fucking tramp; right in your living room. The door unlocked, may I add. Yes, Spencer, I admire your ability to formulate plans and analyze situations"

By the end there is no longer any third person. Ryan is shooting Spencer's mistakes right in his face in public and Ryan thinks for a minute he maybe over-passed the line by adding into the discussion something they would never mention. Spencer always thinks of Haley. The auburn haired boy hears muffled sobs in the night when he's staying at Spencer's house most of the time, and like Spencer keeps his mouth shut over Ryan’s mistakes, Ryan had vowed to do so as well. It seems he can’t even do that now.

There's no exaggeration taken when we state Ryan's character, and how easily it is flared.

Spencer, now, seems furious. "At least _I_ don't let my father beat me every night he comes home drunk without a fight."

There is dead quiet and the people who had stopped to listen their argument had frozen. The carnival is no longer loud with screams of joy and laughter, and they don’t know whether it’s because the people around them had turned quiet and now the only sounds of delight come from away, or because they blocked any other sound from entering their ears. They don’t stop to think about it either. Spencer's eyes widen and he looks devastated, but it is too late. He can't take it back.

Ryan's lips pull back in a sneer and he covers his hurt with dignity.

"Screw you." He jeers and he begins walking towards the opposite direction, leaving a shocked Spencer behind who seems too astonished with what he said to move his mouth to form any apology. Even if he were to ask for forgiveness, Ryan wouldn’t have stuck around to listen.

Once he's sure he's out of Spencer's line of view, he breaks into a run though the wet streets while it rains. He hadn’t noticed that while arguing it had begun to wet the streets and the carnival tents. Ryan laughs bitterly as he decides he has his own little storm cloud.

Out of all people, his best friend?

Ryan's eyes refuse to let him see clearly as he walks but doesn't stop to rub his eyes and free them from a hazy vision. What use would it make? He used to care of how people see him, but once Spencer announced to the world of his family problems he doesn’t find important the way people see him now.

All he sees is a bright light and he is shoved onto the pavement by something steel hard and a honk rings directly into his ear. Feeling intense pain, he cries out as warm liquid escapes from his temple and he fades into darkness.

 

 

 

Ryan wants to groan. His head is pounding and he can’t feel his body, except for the sharp pain he gets on his back every once in a while. His fingers feel as if they’ve been cut off and he thinks his feet no longer have any existence.

He doesn’t know exactly what happened. All he remembers is the light and the immense pain. Fuck. The  _pain._  Ryan rather he just die. Yet, he has wished that for a long time now and he had never done anything about it before. Until, he hears a familiar voice.

 _“Will he be alright?”_ Spencer whispers, and if Ryan could he would have make fun of how he feels a hand slip into his and squeeze. There’s a sigh and a deeper voice replies.

_“Mr. Smith, Ryan Ross has been damaged very severely. The car managed to throw him across the floor and made his skull crack against the floor. There is no guarantees, but we could only hope for the best.”_

_“What do you **mean**  by  **hope**  for the best! My  **brother**  almost fucking died and you tell me to just  **hope** for the best?!”_  Spencer seems angry and Ryan can hear his voice waver, just like whenever he’s about to cry. He chooses to ignore it and Ryan guesses that here Spencer has said to be his brother.

The hand that clutches his almost painfully and if Ryan could, he would have winced and told Spencer to  _let go of his hand_. That’s the thing, though, Spencer, who is still standing, keeps thinking  _if he could_.

Ryan’s ends up fading into black after sleep powers him. Ryan discerns the beeping of the machine and it annoys him. He dreams of a smile and a guitar.

 

 

  
_“Ryan? Ryan, you there? Dude, please. You‘re scaring the shit out of me.”_

Ryan internally groans and tries to open his mouth to complain and tell Spencer to  _turn off the fucking sun._  He hears the beeping of the machine once again and he thinks  _Oh._

 _“Hey, there Ry,”_ Spencer’s voice says again and after the screeching of chair legs he feels a hand slip in his again, “ _The doc said there was a fair chance you‘d hear me. You know, since you‘re in a waking sleep in all. You know what coma is, right? Sorry. It‘s just you‘re so stupid sometimes.”_ Spencer laughs bitterly and then sighs.

_“Yeah, they say I should probably start talking in past tense. Why the hell would I do that? You‘re still alive and breathing. You‘re going to live. It‘s just coma. One day you‘ll wake up. Soon, hopefully. And I‘d ask for your forgiveness. I‘d tell you now, but without you screaming at me it’s no use. I rather wait._

_“Anyway, I might as well fill you in with all the new stuff going on. If you are hearing me I’m sure that you’d rather not be bored. So, whether you like it or not, I’m just going to tell you about the rumors and such circling the school, you not involved, in case you’re wondering. Some are just fucking ridiculous._

_“There’s this new guy in school. He’s in your grade. Cool, huh? It’s awesome. He has stubble and he looks awesome in it. He’s nifty. Really. I think you were right, though, about my sexuality. I kind of-may, uh. Have a crush? Bi-sexual or bi-curious. It doesn’t matter. Yeah, yeah. I know. I am going to get so annoyed with you when you wake up and start getting on my nerves. I’ve only known him for a week but he just, like, sat next to me in our lonely table at lunch while I was with Peter and Mikey and smiled. He said he saw us and decided to join. Something about having a huge table for only three of us. We didn’t mention you, though. Why say there’s a fourth in the hospital?_

_“So Peter thought he was cool and Mikey didn‘t seem to care shit. Though I kind of hate Pete for talking about fucking all types of guys. I still feel weird around him even though it was three months ago that Peter announced he is gay. Jonathan, that‘s his name, didn‘t seem to care. He just listened as Pete babbled on and on about different dick shapes and sizes. Jon-”_

_“Sir?”_ A new voice interrupts. Ryan is disappointed. He wants to gather more information about this _Jon_ to use against Spencer when he wakes up. It’d be nice to get some revenge. Oddly, he doesn’t seem frightened much at the thought of losing his friend over a new guy Spencer starts liking. Ryan, more than anyone, knows Spencer’s crushes don’t last long before he gets bored.

 _If_  he wakes up.

 _“Yes?”_ Spencer asks, and it is obvious he is annoyed.

_“I‘m sorry to interrupt, sir, but it‘s time for you to leave.”_

Spencer sighs and Ryan practically hears him nod.

_“Can I have a moment?”_

The sound of the door closing fills the room and a cushion squeaks as Spencer shifts in his seat, facing Ryan once again.

 _“Alright,”_ He whispers, _“I have to go. But I promise to visit you soon.”_ Ryan’s hand is released and the sound of the chair’s legs is heard again, only this time farther away. Soon Ryan feels warmth on top of his hand again.

 _“See you, Ry,”_ Spencer murmurs. Ryan feels his lips press to his temple, _“I love you. Don‘t forget it.”_

The door shuts behind him.

 

 

It’s so surreal; floating in the air with nothing. His eyes are closed and he’s started to grow used to having to depend on his ears.

It‘s horrible.

Spencer, though, at least keeps Ryan entertained half the day before he has to leave to go to work. Ryan wants to laugh because with Ryan in bed for, as Ryan calculates, so far weeks, Spencer is  _lost_. It humors Ryan to no end.

 _“So I had the **dense**  idea to tell Pete over my crush on Jon. And  **fuck**. He kept mocking me and  **told Jonathan!**  I give you my word though, Pete‘s lucky he hasn‘t died yet but he‘ll be in Hell by the time he goes to sleep, that asshole. It‘s just-”_ Spencer sighs, _“It sucks.”_

Ryan, meanwhile, mentally laughs and laughs and laughs while Spencer grumbles, as if sensing Ryan’s amusement.

Even though Ryan and Spencer are not really blood-related, even less twins with telepathic powers, Ryan knows Spencer can usually know what he is thinking almost to perfection with his same words.

So it doesn’t surprise him when Spencer scoffs and mutters a _‘Fuck you’._

 

  
“Hey, dude.  _Dude_.” A voice says and something pokes Ryan’s side.

“Gabe, leave him.” Another voice says, irritated.

“What if he‘s dead?” Gabe asks. The other voice scoffs.

“He‘s not  _dead_ , Gabriel. Otherwise he wouldn‘t  _be_  here.”

“He could be a ghost.”

“Fat chance.”

Ryan groans and covers his eyes with his arm, accidentally scratching himself in the process. He grumbles and feels his back still hurting. Since when has the mattress been as hard as a rock?

Ryan freezes, his eyes still closed. The mattress. The hospital.  _Coma._

“Shit.” He mutters.

“It‘s a nice first word, if you ask me.”

Ryan’s eyes snap over as he sees two faces hovering over him, staring. They’re too close and Ryan swallows a noise of shock coming from his throat.

“Have you ever heard of personal space?” He breathes out, his eyes still wide. The dark-haired one smiles sheepishly and steps back along with the one with light-colored brown long hair, who shrugs.

Ryan’s eyes enlarge even more and he jumps up, starling the two intruders. He rapidly turns around and takes in his surroundings. The darkness, the green and the endless paths of trees tell Ryan he’s not where he’s supposed to be.

He quickly turns to the two guys who are still waiting awkwardly behind him and he glares.

“Did you kidnap me or shit?” He snaps, and he knows that if these two are serial killers, he’d have no time to ask for mercy with the tone he used, especially with the lack of other people around. The dark-haired eyes widen and he shakes his head furiously.

“No. You came here all by yourself, dude,” He says and cautiously takes a step forward, “Hey. I‘m Gabe.” He introduces with an easy grin and turns to the one with the long hair, who’s glaring.

“And this is William.”

William seems to give up with the hard act because he sighs and finally lets his crossed arms fall to his sides, giving him a wave.

“Hey.”

Ryan nods stiffly, “Where am I?” He demands. Gabe frowns.

“Isn‘t this the part where you tell us your name?” Gabe looks honestly confused and Ryan huffs,  _the_  huff that was usually reserved for when Spencer points something about him that Ryan wants to ignore out or when Pete annoys him.

“I wake up in a forest, when there is no forest anywhere near where I live. Two guys stare at me like a freak and I‘m supposed to be in the  _hospital._  I think I should get the answers first.”

Gabe laughs and swings an arm around William’s shoulders, who rolls his eyes. “Look, Bill! Kitty‘s got claws.” He laughss.

Ryan purses his lips.

“I am  _not_ a kitty.” He says between gritted teeth. Gabe smiles.

“You are. You even act as if you don’t know where you are!” And he crackles into another hoot once again, burying his face into William’s neck.

“I‘m not pretending.”

Gabe immediately stops laughing at the honesty and seriousness of Ryan’s tone and his posture stiffens along with William’s. He slowly parts away from his companion and stares at Ryan with a stoic expression, which Ryan finds odd on the face of Gabe which so far has only shown humor.

“You really don‘t know where you are?” He asks, abruptly sober. Ryan begins to feel more edgy at their hard stares.

“Uh… no? Not really, should I?” His answer sounds like a question.

“You just… woke up,  _here?_ ” William questions, biting his lower lip and he looks troubled, almost afraid to hear Ryan’s answer. Ryan nods.

“I’m in coma one minute and the next I can  _move._  I wouldn’t say this isn’t odd.”

Gabe sighs and gestures towards them as they turn their back to Ryan and begin walking the opposite direction. “Come, we‘ll explain on the way.”

Ryan doesn’t have anywhere to go, so he follows.

 

  
“We can start once we know your name, ‘cause it‘s kind of weird talking to a stranger.” Gabe cracks a smile and suddenly he doesn’t seem as emotionless as a few minutes ago.

Ryan dodges branches and logs on the floor while checking the dark sides of the endless forest, not even allowed to look Gabe in the eye because he’s scared if he loses sight a night monster will pop out of nowhere and eat him whole.

“Ryan. Ryan Ross.” He responds.

Gabe turns to grin at him over his shoulder. “Well, Ryan. Have you ever wondered of the existence another dimension? You know, like one where you walk on the ceiling or backwards? Or where everything‘s black and white? Well, this is like that. Only where you are right now is a place inside everyone‘s head.”

Ryan shook his head. “I don‘t understand, are you insane?”

Gabe laughed and flicked a falling leave out of his way. “No one does the first time they‘re explained, and yes. Maybe so.” He sends Ryan a grin over his shoulder.

“So,  _if_  I‘m in a place in my mind, I‘m still in the hospital,” Ryan pauses and Gabe nods, “And this isn‘t really my body moving, but my, like brain?” Gabe nods once again without bothering to turn around, “And all of you are just a fringe of my imagination? Because I have to admit, I‘m pretty smart to have come up with this place.”

William finally said something while shaking his head, “Ryan, we are  _real_. Okay? All people have this place deep in their minds, but only those in coma,” He coughs, as if reminding himself something and refusing to say it, “We‘re all in coma here. We have been for a while. It’s sort of a connection we have through this state of mind, a place where people from all over the world meet without actually _being_ there.”

“So, you‘re actually people and I‘m not going crazy?” Ryan questions and he ignores Gabe’s input ( _“Sort of like the internet, huh, Bill?”_ ) before sighing, “This is fucked up.”

“It is, young grasshopper,” Gabe says, “We all are.”

“Why is it I didn‘t wake up here the moment I was hit with the fucking car? How come I can‘t hear Spencer anymore?”

Gabe sighs. “Once you are here you block everyone in the outside world out.”

“And I woke up here now…  _why?_ ”

William gags as he almost lets an insect into his mouth and begins spitting things out rapidly. He grimaces and commences to curse at the bugs in the air. Gabe kisses William’s temple softly and William kisses his cheek quickly before looking forward again and ducking away from spider webs on the way. Gabe smiles while staring straight into his eyes and then turns over his shoulder.

“Well,” He begins with a sad smile, “You‘ll find everything out on your own while you‘re here. And you‘ll learn to accept it. The edges of the forest isn‘t a normal place for people to awaken from. We don’t know a clear answer, but surely you soon will.”

Ryan can’t seem to understand.

 

 

 

 

 “Where are we going?” Ryan asks quietly, afraid to awake the bristling leaves. Gabe laughs, loud and carefree as if he’d been walking through this forest millions of times through the dark, not a single speck of fright at being lost.

“Don‘t tell me you‘re afraid of the dark.” He says. Ryan cringes and unconsciously digs his nails to William’s skin on his forearm. William winces but doesn’t push him away.

“No.” Ryan snaps defensively. Gabe snorts and sends him a meaningful look.

“Right.”

William shakes his head and stops himself from rubbing his shoulder when Ryan finally lets him go. Instead he shoots Gabe a glare and a reassuring glance at Ryan. “Can you  _please_  just quiet down? We‘re almost there and I don‘t want to wake everyone up.”

Gabe stares up to the sky, or at least what can be seen of the blue heavens, and holds his arms wide to the air. “Jesus has spoken.” He declares.

“Actually, I wouldn‘t see Bill as Jesus. He‘s more like a… Audrey Hepburn or maybe even that Megan Fox girl.” A voice says all of the sudden. Ryan’s breath hitches but Gabe laughs while William glares at the shadows. A figure steps into the moonlight and Ryan could finally see the man. He’s no older than Ryan than by a couple years, about twenty two years old, he would say. He’s tall and with a sly, brisk smile on his lips. His dark jet black hair make him look quite remarkable as it contrasts to his pale skin and also his meaningless jeans with  black t-shirt and dirty sneakers on his feet.

“Dude, that‘s why he‘s the girl in the relationship.” Gabe laughs and William rolls his eyes, huffing and obviously annoyed. The man smiles and laughs lightly, shaking his head. Once his eyes land on Ryan his eyebrows furrow.

“Who‘s the newcomer?” He asks. Ryan almost snorts. Way to make him feel even more left out.

Gabe grins impossibly wider and he swings an arm over Ryan’s shoulder. William grumbles something about going to sleep and disappears between the tress, obviously still angry.

“This, Gary, is Ryan Ross. He just came a couple hours ago,“ Gabe’s smile then falters as he thinks of something else, “He woke up in the edges of the forest. Bill and I found him when we were going to the river.”

Gary frowns at the last piece of information and Ryan thinks he’s become more of a freak for ‘awakening’ at the edges. Whatever that meant. Because, great. Not only is Ryan a freak in school, but in his own head too.

Gary finally nods in knowledge and takes a few steps closer to Ryan, since he was barely close enough before (a few feet away) for Ryan to even distinguish him. Gary then properly introduces himself with his hand held out somewhat hesitantly. Ryan appreciates the time Gary is taking to actually pioneer himself with his name in a somewhat _normal_ way (without counting, of course, that he’s still in a hospital).

“Hello, Ryan Ross. My name is Gerard.” He says. Ryan nods and shakes his hand tentatively.

“Uh, nice to meet you. Well, um, spiritually I guess.”

Gerard laughs and nods, says, “Yeah, spiritually it is,” He moves to turn around and walk away before shouting, “Come on! We must get your room ready if you’re going to be staying with us for a long while!”

Ryan follows a skipping Gabe and a chuckling Gerard silently and is shocked to see himself in front of houses as they near their destination.  _Houses_  obviously made by man and tree wood. Gerard beams at Ryan’s shocked face.

“I managed to take carpentry classes before I came here and taught the rest. We did a pretty good job, if I may say so myself.” He states with a final nod. Ryan gapes and nods slowly.

They weren’t modern houses, but they were still cabins. No paint to decorate the old wood, no lights, nothing. Just walls of wood expertly stuck together to form a house. _Home_ to most of them _._

“What do you use as tools?” Ryan asks. Gerard shrugged and began walking towards one the houses where a small light, like a candle, was lit.

“There‘s everything around here, Ryan. Not just a forest. You just have to look for it and you’ll find it. I can guarantee you.”

“And it‘s only you guys? There‘s only, like, ten houses here.”

Gabe shook his head heatedly. “Nope, there‘s much more. People from all over the world. We just decided to part away. Make our own land.”

Ryan frowns. “Yeah, okay. Makes enough sense.”

“Just not enough for you,” Gerard laughs and turned to Gabe, “Anyway, I have to go back in and tell Brendon you and William came back safe so he could go to bed. He was getting worried.” He turns away with a sigh to walk into the house.

“Aw, “ He drawls with a smirk, “The munchkin was preoccupied? Tell him we have a newbie!” Gabe yells after him. Gerard throws his head back to laugh and shakes his head.

“He wouldn‘t want to sleep until he meets ‘em! Night, Ryan!”

Ryan nods even though it’s too late because Gerard had already walked into the cabin and shortly after the candle goes out (presumably a candle, judging by the wavering of the light from inside).

“Come on, dude,” Gabe says and jogs to the front of a house, “We can have you meet everyone else tomorrow! I got to give you your bed!”

Ryan chuckles and follows, quietly jogging to not be left alone near the red eyes he is sure he saw. Once they enter Ryan notices a dim light on a corner that is indeed a candle (left lit by William for them, Ryan guesses) on a table along with a couple of books. Ryan doesn’t have a chance to read the titles.

They enter another room where William is already sleeping, his lips parted and seeming peaceful. There are four beds in total. Beds being blankets strapped to the walls in the air with heavy covers enough to keep you warm even in the worse winters.

“This,” Gabe points to the bed next to William’s, “Is my bed, I crawl into William‘s bed when I feel lonely, though. And  _this_ ,” He points to the blanket on top of William’s bed and very close to the high ceiling, "Is your bed because I bet you‘re light as a feather and there‘s less chance you‘d roll off yourself and land on my Bill. Okay?” He finishes, grin still placed.

Ryan nods. “Yeah. Okay. I‘ll just, uh, go to bed now then,” He carefully climbs onto the blanket without kicking William‘s face and tries not to shake too much or the whole blanket would flip over, “Do I sleep in this or…?”

Gabe seems to find the aspect of Ryan embarrassed very entertaining because he laughs and curls a finger in William’s hair as William stirs. “Boxers, Ryan. Unless you sleep in your birthday suit like Brendon?” He raises an eyebrow and Ryan scoffs.

“I don‘t. And I didn‘t need an example of whoever, thank you.”

Gabe smiles and slips onto the blanket and under the warm covers. “Then, goodnight.”

“G‘night,” Ryan mutters back.

He stares into the ceiling and doesn’t move, afraid of falling off. From under he could hear the shuffling of covers and it seems Gabe doesn’t care for that matter. Trying to process where he is isn’t easy. He simply hasn’t had a heart attack yet, because he still doesn’t understand the situation enough. By tomorrow morning he’ll surely have a stroke. Trying to accept you’re still in the hospital. Spencer is still talking to him. But he can no longer hear him. Pete is still being annoyingly cheery all the time outside his brain. Mikey still doesn’t care shit… anywhere. _Jonathan is still probably making Spencer blush._ Ryan is missing it all.

He sighs and lets his hand fall to the side of the floating blanket, since he was too far up to hit William’s face. Even with his long arm.

“Gabe?” He asks suddenly.

“Yeah?” Gabe doesn’t seem to be able to sleep or want to for that matter.

“Where the hell do you get this stuff? Candles, books, tools, clothes, you know.”

Gabe laughs and he stares up to where Ryan is. “Of all we told you, that‘s your question?”

Ryan shrugs though the other can’t see him. He’s sure Gabe sees his upper part of his blankets shift though.“I‘m curious.”

“Well, to answer your question, it‘s called Precious Possession. Well, that‘s how  _I_  call it. It‘s like, when you come here you bring what‘s more important to you from the outside. It‘s a replica, really. Your real one is still where you last left it. You‘d be surprised with what‘s the most precious thing for some.

“The candles come from Greta‘s part. A whole box came with her. They were her Grandmother‘s and after knowing they weren‘t the real ones she let us use them. The books are Bill‘s. And I brought my closet. So, I lent some to others most of the time. Gerard brought a photo. Of his family. Cheesy, really but if I told him that he‘d kill me.”

“What if I don't have a Precious Possession?” Ryan asked, staring into the ceiling again. Gabe’s laugh was heard again.

“We all have something he value. Even if you don‘t know what it is, you do too. We‘ll go back where we found you later tomorrow. You‘d be surprised with that we’d find yours. Just wait.”

Ryan nods and doesn’t respond. He wishes he could bring Spencer.

 

 

 

Gabe comes back from his 'adventure' to traveling back to the edges of the forest with a grin on his face, William trailing behind with a smile on his face. But Ryan's eyes are on the case he has in hand and Ryan's eyes widen, before zeroing on the black solid case. Because  _holy fuck_ , Ryan didn't notice before how much he missed his guitar.

William rolls his eyes at Ryan's expression and practically shoves the case in his hands. Ryan takes it gradually and he doesn't dare open in right now. He'd praise his sweet Lilo (yes, she has a name because she's  _family_. Even though she'd made of wood and not meat and bone) at night when he'd have a quiet moment with her. At the moment Gabe's prying eyes would be difficult to escape.

"Can I see it?" He asks innocently, and Ryan wouldn't be surprised if he batted his eyelashes too.

" _Her_ ," Ryan corrects, "She's not just any thing lying around." He pushes the case behind the cabinet wardrobe and hopes that she'd be safe from danger. Sure, they told him it's just a replica but we're talking about Ryan's little daughter (as Spencer would call her before shutting up to stare at Ryan's scowl solemnly).

Ryan's been waiting on the door of the cabin for quite a long time and he had not even felt sleepy, even though he was sure it was pretty much 4 in the morning. William didn't seem to mind having to go alone to retrieve Ryan's precious possession, though Gabe had woken up and tagged along.

Now, being about 7 o'clock in the morning (God knows how William and Gabe got distracted on the way back and took an hour more but Ryan noticed a light purple spot on William's neck, barely hidden by his hair) they finally returned and Gabe seems enthusiastic to introduce him to everyone. Ryan feels more and more unimpressed by the minute as Gabe describes each and every one of them.

By the time William is dragging Gabe out of the cabin by digging his nails into his arm there's more daylight seeping through the tall trees. Ryan squints his eyes and he suddenly feels something  _slam_  into his side and make his topple over, barely saved from landing on his ass on the top of the dirty floor by Gerard, who snakes his arm around his waist quickly to stop him from falling. Ryan looks down to see what the  _fuck_  that was and is met with a pair of dark brown eyes.

Centimeters away.

Their noses are barely touching and Ryan is  _extremely_  claustrophobic. Pardon me if I forgot to mention it before.

So Ryan's first instinct is to shove the creature away, or, well, person. He seems to stumble away but his grin never wavers, as if he gets the same reaction very often. Being a couple of inches taller, Ryan has the advantage of towering over the boy, who seems to be not much younger than Ryan himself.

"What the fuck?" He sneers. The boy's grin fades and his bottom lip swells into a pout.

"I'm sorry!" He says, and his eyes are wide, "I didn't mean to scare you! I just got excited."

Ryan narrows his eyes at him "Fucking asshole! What do you expect if you fucking  _jump_  on me like that!"

And then, just as the boy's eyes widen even more and his lips trembles (And Ryan thinks it  _'Serves him right'_ ). Ryan feels a hand lie on his shoulder and he turns to meet Gerard's stony eyes, seeming colder than Ryan has ever seen Gerard as, and he feels nervous knowing that it’s directed only at _him_.

"Ryan," He says gravely, "This is Brendon. He's the one that's staying at my cabin."

And the first thing that comes to Ryan's mind is  _'shit'_  because he  _remembers_. This isn't the Las Vegas streets anymore, where he can just flip the boy -Brendon- off and never see him in his life again. No. Ryan's in this little world in his mind and there's no escaping now. Ryan ignores the pang of shame that hits him and just shrugs, trying not to make is sheepish or regretful. It was this _Brendon’s_ fault either way.

"Okay."

Ryan meets Victoria who is a complete bitch and, with William’s permission, has Gabe wrapped around her little; Greta is a sweet little girl who smiles brightly; Ray is some dude with the mega curls who reminds Ryan of someone back at the institute called by Trohman; Bob who likes glaring at strangers quite a lot and intimidating people fairly well; Patrick is distinguished as someone who smiles shyly and talks in a quiet voice while hiding his face behind his Trilby hat and blonde hair; Andy sort of just nods at Ryan and keeps walking away.

Brendon sort of just stays behind and stares at Ryan the whole time with a hopeful gaze.

 

 

"Do you like candy?" Brendon asks, his face once again  _too_  close to Ryan's. Ryan grimaces and slowly turns him away with his index finger on Brendon's cheek.

"No."

Brendon turns back to him (retreating a couple of inches back) and his big eyes enlarge impossibly wider. "Why?"

"Because it makes me sick and my stomach starts churning horribly. Usually I throw up."

Brendon huffs because, honestly, what type of person is Ryan to not even like  _gummy bears?!_  That should be against the law. Thinking better of it, it would not be a bad idea. If he even had  _access_  to the real world; but he really doesn’t. Brendon's stuck here in this little 'Comaland' like he calls it. He's had three years stuck here and he's starting to get sick of it.For every possibly reason but its people. Ryan's kind of cute and funny (especially when it's cold and his nose is a light pink) and Gerard hugs him sometimes and talks to him about his life 'back home', his family.

"That doesn't make sense." Brendon voices out. Ryan rolls his eyes and shifts from sitting in high air on the tied blanket.

"Brendon, I hate to be the one to break it to you but we're currently in a small little world made up by our minds while our bodies are still in a hospital. This hardly has any significance either way."

"But we're here and that's all that matters." Brendon replies, his broad expression fixed on Ryan with such innocence it  _hurts._

"There's nothing that matters anymore." Ryan snaps because he's drowsy from lack of a night's sleep. He snapps at Brendon because he can and he  _will._  And Gabe's moaning last night was too loud to ignore.

Brendon hops higher onto William's bed below and then uses his arms to crawl on Ryan's, much as he's seen Ryan do it himself. Ryan frowns as Brendon squishes himself beside him, their legs hanging to the ground with their knees brushing every once in a while with Brendon childishly swinging his legs back and forth. Ryan finally shoves the book he's been trying to read for half an hour down and glares at him.

"Do you  _want_  something?" He jeers. Brendon's smiles softly and seems suddenly timid, staring at his hands and playing with them.

"No." He murmurs.

"Then  _leave._ " Ryan snaps. Brendon winces and Ryan fights his guilt back, refusing for his eyes to soften.

"Can I watch you read?"

"Will you be quiet and not make me shut you up the whole time?" Ryan asks back. Brendon grins and nods rapidly.

"Sure!"

"Then," Ryan responds calmly, "You can stay."

Brendon beams and, in spite of promising Ryan silence, he begins to hum. Ryan's hand tightens on his borrowed book and doesn't say a word. Brendon thinks _shutting the fuck up_ requires not  _talking._

Ryan finds himself staring at the same paragraph in the thick book the whole next two hours while listening to Brendon's tune and after a long period of time Ryan finally notices that Brendon had stopped humming. Ryan turns to see the source for the pause of the quiet music and sighs as he sees the sight of Brendon curled up in a tight ball on the blanket.

It's nighttime and too late for Ryan to go to Brendon's cabin and ask Gerard for the younger boy's bed (no, he isn’t _scared_ of the dark). And Ryan can't sleep in William's and Gabe's own bed (quite repulsive, the thought). Ryan grumbles a bit and throws the book on William's bed.

He squishes himself beside Brendon and wakes up the next morning to see his arm tightly gripping Brendon's waist and Brendon's face buried in Ryan's chest, his hand on Ryan's own and a smile on his face.

 

 

 

_I used to._

_Back home._

_When I was still awake._

Ryan notices how Brendon winces each time he hears these terms. Only Gerard seems to know how much he hates it when someone brings back the past. Brendon can't stand it and it always makes him sad. Even though Ryan mostly can't stand Brendon, he  _hates_  seeing him sad. A cheerless Brendon is no Brendon at all.

Brendon is sweet, rash, foolish and ridiculously  _adorable._  He grins widely when someone compliments his new songs (since he brought along his whole fucking piano -and Ryan wonders how they dragged the whole thing back to the cabin when he first got here before remembering everyone's been here for maximum a year while Brendon got here when he was fourteen-) and kisses Ryan sloppily on the cheek when he feels like it. Ryan usually scowls and wipes his cheek, rubbing endlessly at it before seeing Brendon skip away to find Gerard. It's when he's out of sight when Ryan finally lets his little smile escape. Then Ryan reminds himself the current circumstances and grimaces once more

Greta giggled once she caught him and Ryan glared at her. She quickly became quiet but she was still obviously holding back laughs.

A couple of weeks after Brendon would go to Ryan's cabin every night to sleep with him, Brendon finally got frustrated on having to be careful not to fall (because Ryan wouldn't hold him while awake) and made Gerard -with a roll of his eyes- undo the strapped bed from the walls and take it to Brendon's cabin, so he wouldn’t haven’t to abandon Gerard either.

There, Gerard strapped it close next to Brendon's and formed a huge king sized _divan_. Ryan snaps at Brendon for doing this without his consent, but Brendon just smiles and plants a kiss smacked on his lips, seeming to have gotten used to Ryan’s grumpy personality and taking no offense in it anymore. Ryan blinks and there is suddenly no room for an argument.

 

 

 

It's one of those rare days where it rains over the forest.

Brendon shivers and whimpers at the loud lightning bolts that fall next to the cabin and holds back tears as he sniffs at three in the morning. He feels Ryan's arm wrap around his waist securely and Brendon turns around in the heavy bed covers before Ryan kisses his forehead.

"Quiet, Bren," He murmurs sleepily, careful not to wake up a snoring above, "I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere." He brushes away the fringe of dark brown hair away from Brendon’s eyes as he squints his eyes open.

Brendon nods with glistening brown eyes while peering up at him and buries his face in Ryan's neck, "Hold me?"

Ryan does just that.

 

 

 

 

_"You know," Gabe says out of the blue while staring into space, "You have luck, for awaking in the edges of the forest; for being the only person after the first of history and just maybe, you have a chance."_

_Ryan whips around and his eyebrows furrow at his words. "A chance at what?" He asks._

_Gabe grins and finally looks at him in the eyes, looking over his shoulder after at Vicky who had finally arrived from visiting the **others**. The ones in the village._

_"Just— a chance."_

Ryan's Bored. Not just bored. But Bored. With a capital beginning letter and all, because it's important.

He had decided to visit Patrick's cabin to discuss the music of when Patrick was still _awake_ and the one from Ryan's posters. Apparently, when Ryan had played a song on guitar from that one British boy band that comes out everywhere ( **please, don't ask how he knows it. It was a threat, swear to god. Damn Peter Wentz** ) he had learned that the now music is beyond lacking originality, rom what he says. Well, Patrick isn't too far off at all.

But then Patrick is doing his own stuff with his albums (without a player) and Ryan feels alone. Not that Patrick's terrible at all, he's the greatest _friend_ he’s had discussing music, actually; but right now Patrick's in his own little world writing endlessly with his eyebrows furrowed and Ryan respects that. He rather not intrude.

He walks back to the cabin where Brendon awaits him with his accustomed vast beam, and when he's about the enter the already opened door he's interrupted by some heated discussion occurring and Ryan  decides to wait for his cue to enter.

 _"Gee,"_ Brendon sounds as if he's wailing and Ryan flinches, _"It's still not fair!"_ There's a sigh.

 _"I know, Brendon. And you know we’ve already discussed this,"_ Gerard whispers, _"But there's nothing we can do about it."_

_"There **has**  to be! I don't want to stay here any longer! I'd rather  **die**  than stay here for another four years!"_

_"Bren, please don’t say such things. You know your parents refuse to unplug you."_

_"You’re asking me **not** to say those things? I’m feeling desperation, Gerard! I can’t be optimistic all the goddamn time! Besides, Jennifer might do it."_

Gerard seems to let out a noise of frustration and Ryan imagines him running a hand through his hair. Ryan cringes as he hears Brendon curse, not familiar with such thing.

_"Brendon, I don't know your family personally but we're both aware over the fact that your sister is the **least**  person likely to do it. You were her only younger brother who she probably still remembers being her favorite."_

_"But I can't stand the thought of never leaving, it could only be categorized as being selfish,"_ Brendon yells, his eyes stinging with tears and his voice wavering, _"She doesn’t have in mind exactly how much she’s making me suffer hooked to a fucking IV and in the hospital! You don’t know, Gerard Way, you don’t know how much I’ve suffered from being here for **years** since I was a fourteen! And you know the worse, you just don’t want to say it," _He sniffs and wipes it on the sleeve of his shirt, his gaze never off Gerard’s frozen stance, _“You know that once we’re here that means we’re never going out.”_

Ryan chokes on a deep breath and he holds back the water behind his eyelids at the words; because he's heard enough, he balls his hands into fists. He knows Brendon lied to him by never telling him the truth, and he should never be forgiven. He was given nonexistent hope. Ryan curls back his lip in a sneer.

_"You'll learn more about this lifestyle!" Brendon declares cheerfully while swinging his hand that is attached to Ryan's back and forth._

_"Why does everyone make a big deal about 'learning more about this place' and 'learning to accept it with no exceptions' so fucking important?" Ryan asks, frowning. Brendon grins and presses his lips to Ryan's neck in a rapid kiss._

_"You'll learn." He responds simply._

And because Brendon has forced Ryan to fall in love with him Ryan runs away and slams his already clenched fist into the first tree trunk he has nears.

The birds' wings flapping, their shrieks are the only thing heard in the distance, hiding his silent sobs.


End file.
